Why Chuck Norris should be in desi movies.......

As I was flipping channels the other day, I happened upon this show Walker Texas Ranger. After watching him kick some major rear end and woo women for a few minutes, I unanimously came to the conclusion that this dude is a must for desi movies. After that as I flipped some more, another channel was showing Delta Force. It's a movie made in the late 80s where Chuck Norris single handedly beats the crap out of every single terrorist in the Middle East. I'm thinking man this guy rocks and flipping some more and guess what? It's Chucky boy again in an exercise infomercial on TV.

Man! This guy is a triple threat. He can fight, mate with women and look good in spandex!!! I'm sold! Desi movies need him. If you're not convinced, please read on...............

Amitabh, Rajnikant, Dharmendar and all other desi heroes step aside

Compiled from different sources, here's a compelling case of why Desi movies need an alpha male like Chuck Norris:

1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
2. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
3. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
4. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
5. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
6. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
8. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
9. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
10. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
11. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and took home every girl in the stadium.
12. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
13. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
14. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
15. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
16. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling "Bang!"
17. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
18. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
19. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
20. And finally........... Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.